IF-I-SEEK-US
Imminent Fulfillment, Immortality, Safety, Empowerment, Equality, Knowledge, Unity, Society

"There are a thousand hacking at the branches
of evil to one who is striking at the root." -
Henry David Thoreau
Site Sections and Suggested Reading Sequence

Miscellaneous Article Links

Can We Agree on these?
Valid vs feaux intellectuals
Some Atheist Questions
What is a Prophet?
Cult Assessment Criteria
The Brothers Karamazov
Critique of A New Earth
Some Pertinent Parables
Ages and Time Aspects
Ancient Scholastics
Thoughts on Meditation
Kahlil Gibran on Law
Genius versus Wisdom
Model for Visions & Dreams
Models of Human Destiny
Personal Experience
Importance of Catastrophism
How the World Will End
Some Conclusions

Video-lecture links

GOD'S TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE

If God operated his program like an automotive corporation or a big church, he
might send out to new converts a questionnaire comparable to the one below:
_______________________________________________________

God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order to better
serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to answer the following
questions. Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely
confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address unless you
prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions. (We do not encourage a
request for direct response since it entails unknown risks)

1. How did you find out about God? (check all that apply)
(__) Newspaper   (__) Religious Flyer   (__) Radio Evangelism
(__) Television Evangelism   (__) Internal Inspiration
(__) Word of mouth   (__) Near Death Experience
(__) Tabloid   (__) Burning Shrubbery
(__) Bible  (__)  Torah   (__) Magazine
(__) Spontaneous combustion of a friend or enemy
(__) Other (specify): ________________________________ 

2. Which model of God did you acquire?
(__) Yaweh   (__) Father, Son & Holy Ghost Trinity
(__) Jehovah   (__) Christ   (__) Thor
(__) Allah   (__) Satan   (__) Beelzebub
(__) Great Spirit   (__) Mysterium Tremendum
(__) None of the above. I won't be taken in by a false god

3. Did your God come to you unsullied, with all aspects in good
repute and with no obvious disparaged or missing attributes?
(__) Yes   (__) No

If no, please describe the problems you initially encountered.  Since God
has heard it all, please limit your insipid response to 25 words or less.

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

4. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a god from an
external source? (check all that apply)
(__) Indoctrinated by parents
(__) Indoctrinated by society
(__) Needed a reason to live
(__) Needed focus in who to despise
(__) Needed something supernatural
(__) Outgrew my imaginary friend
(__) Romantic partner is a church goer
(__) Hate to think for myself
(__) Fear of dying/death
(__) Guilt, guilt, and more guilt
(__) Wanted to meet girls/boys
(__) Wanted to piss off parents
(__) Needed a day away from work
(__) Desperate need for certainty
(__) I Like Organ Music
(__) Need to feel Morally Superior
(__) Couldn't pass up Pascal's wager
(__) My shrubbery caught fire and told me to do it
(__) Other (specify): ________________________________________

5. Have you ever worshipped a God before?   (__) Yes   (__) No

If Yes, which false god(s) were you fooled by? Please check all that apply.

(__) Odin   (__) Kukulkan
(__) Brahma   (__) Buddha
(__) Zeus   (__) The Almighty Dollar
(__) Apollo   (__) Left Wing Liberalism
(__) Ra (__)   Barney T.B.P.D.
(__) The Great Spirit   (__) The Great Pumpkin
(__) The Sun   (__) Bill Clinton
(__) The Moon   (__) A burning cabbage
(__) The Bomb   (__) Other: _____________________________

6. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition
to God? Please check all that apply.

(__) Tarot cards  (__) Lottery tickets
(__) Astrology   (__) Television hype shows
(__) Fortune cookies   (__) Ann Landers
(__) Psychic Friends Network   (__) Dianetics
(__) Palmistry   (__) Playboy and/or Playgirl
(__) Self-help books   (__) Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll
(__) Biorhythms   (__) Bill Clinton
(__) Tea Leaves   (__) ESP
(__) Mantras   (__) Anthony Robbins
(__) Crystals   (__) Human Sacrifice
(__) Pyramids   (__) Wandering around a desert
(__) Motorcycles   (__) Internet/electronic poker
(__) Insurance policies   (__) Burning Shrubbery
(__) Barney T.B.P.D.   (__) Other: _____________________________
(__) Adele   (__) None

7. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the
balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you prefer?
(check one)

(__)  More Divine Intervention
(__)  Less Divine Intervention
(__)  Current level of Divine Intervention is just about right
(__)  Don't know...what's Divine Intervention?

8. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and miracles.
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent) his handling
of each of the following (circle one rating for each)

a. Disasters
flood 1  2  3  4  5
famine 1  2  3  4  5
earthquake 1  2  3  4  5
war 1  2  3  4  5
pestilence 1  2  3  4  5
disease plagues 1  2  3  4  5
SPAM 1  2  3  4  5
USA Congress 1  2  3  4  5
My computer 1  2  3  4  5
My love life  1  2  3  4  5

b. Miracles
rescues 1  2  3  4  5
spontaneous remissions 1  2  3  4  5
stars hovering over towns 1  2  3  4  5
crying statues 1  2  3  4  5
water changing to wine 1  2  3  4  5
walking on water (other than the Hudson)  1  2  3  4  5
talking flaming shrubbery 1  2  3  4  5
DVRs that accept recording time settings 1  2  3  4  5
Kim Jong Un still being alive 1  2  3  4  5
Libido/performance boosting drugs 1  2  3  4  5
Cubs winning the Series 1  2  3  4  5
Donald Trump's election 1  2  3  4  5

9. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God's services? Since God has heard it all, please limit your banal response to 25 words or less.

___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________
 

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